#metoo and You

In recent breaking news of yesterday, Harvey Weinstein was found guilty of rape. As yesterday was a tribute to B. Smith with a small mention of Katherine Johnson, who I will circle back to in a later post, I didn't want to mix the news stories. For those of you who still don't know, he was found guilty. We are now only awaiting his sentencing. It's no secret that with the downfall of Bill Cosby in 2018, it made every male predator vulnerable. If they can take down "America's Dad," who is safe? Months later, we would find out the answer is NO ONE as people started reinvestigating R. Kelly and Harvey Weinstein. As a result, both men are in prison. To his (dis)credit, Weinstein is using Cosby's defense of being a vulnerable old man by using a walker as assistive technology, even though he is 67 and had previously not had any publicly documented health issues. However, considering that he was admitted to the hospital with chest pains after his verdict, things may not always be as they seem.

Unfortunately, predators have been out there, and the shocking truth is that more women have been assaulted than most care to admit. Additionally unfortunate is that for so long, assault has been so normalized that women used to be afraid to admit it for several reasons: retraumatization, victim-blaming, or the fear of not being believed.

In today's climate, while it is easier to tell the story, it would be better to avoid having the story in the first place. It is important that women endeavor to keep themselves safe.

All that being said, this blog started off as dating advice but turned into safety after I realized there is just so much to do before you even get to the date. It is at this point the I will drop my general disclaimer: This is just a collection of my thoughts and opinions. You can take any or all of them with a grain of salt. Also, the safety aspect can be applied to all people, even though some of the products I show are in alternate colors.

1. You must first and foremost be aware of your surroundings regardless of whether you are in a familiar space or not. Are you alone? In a crowd? Take an assessment of what is around you. To the extent you can, stay with a crowd or set of people. If alone, make sure you are truly alone and not being followed. Keep your cell phone out, not to talk on (which can lead to distraction) but in case you need to dial.
2. Weaponize yourself. Sure, you can invest in some safety tools, such as old fashioned pepper spray like this cute little bottle or a small taser, like this one that looks like a flashlight. Notice that protection doesn't have to look big and bulky, but can fit in with your fashion sense. There are even small discreet blades that are designed to be concealed or to look like a regular key. But even if you don't have any of these, your regular keys can be used as a weapon by placing them between your fingers.
3. When at restaurants, bars, or parties, accept only pre-packaged drinks from a bottle or a certified bartender (or server) hand to hand. At a house party, if you don't see the drink being made or poured, don't grab a cup or accept one.

There are many more practical ways to keep yourself safe when out, but starting with these three can't steer you wrong. Even when you meet someone worthy of your time, it's still good to stay safe.