McDonalds: I am NOT Loving It

McDonalds is an American icon. It has brilliant marketing, capturing and branding children from the age of 18 months with a thrilling mix of red and yellow, which are coincidentally the first colors developing babies can discern (these are not made-up statistics; for more, read Juliet Shore’s Born to Buy).

McDonalds makes it easy for its employees to ring up orders because it tells them meals with icons on the cash register. The cashiers don't have to figure out change because the register tells them how much money to give back and dispenses the coin change for them. The company has even ensured cup pouring where all employees have to do is put the appropriate size cup in and push the matching button! They don't even have to hold the button down; the machine measures the size. So you'd think that most human error would be eliminated.

Not.

To be fair, I am addressing one particular McDonalds located on 8901 Stuart Lane in Clinton, Maryland. This McDonalds is THE worst I have ever been to. Why do I keep frequenting them? Pure location. My dad’s nursing home is there and it’s the closest one to my son’s practice field. So I get held over a barrel when the kid wants something, and when my dad needs an early breakfast on the way to an appointment.

Scenario 1 with kid: I go through the drive-thru for a quick stop on the way to soccer practice. I order a simple Happy Meal: plain cheeseburger with ketchup, fries, apples, and milk. Off we head to the soccer field. We get there and what do you think was wrong with the order? No, not the cheeseburger: these dorks fail to put in any milk! So I have to leave the soccer field return to the McDonalds, go inside (defeats the purpose of fast food AND drive-thru).

Scenario 2 with dad: Today, I had to take Dad downtown—early. Stopped through the drive-thru again. Paid attention to order on screen. Did clever thing and actually looked in the bag. All items accounted for. So I pick up Dad, give him his meal, drink my coffee and eat both hash browns. The steak, egg and cheese bagel would be great for later since I couldn't dig into it while I was driving into DC and trying to find the VA Medical Center.

Four hours later: I safely get Dad to the VA, stop him by Wendy's, drop him back to the home, then make my way back home. Now I’ll just let you into my head to hear—or rather read—my thoughts.

Ah, time to open the bagel. Hmm, it looks a little thin. And feels a little light.

Okay, end of the inside my mind tour because what you would hear—uh, read—would blister your ears. You might have guessed by now, but I’ll just tell you.

My STEAK, EGG and CHEESE bagel had everything but the STEAK, the EGG, and the CHEESE! They gave me a friggin’ toasted BAGEL! Who the hell does that? Therefore, if you have a choice, do NOT frequent this McDonalds. Wendy's, Chipotle and Arby's are across the street. There is also a Checkers and Popeyes on Woodyard Road on the other side of 5. If it's too early and you can sit down, IHOP is across the street too. Even one of the many carryouts in the vicinity would be better. Heck, get a breakfast sandwich from 7-11 or the Shell store's market. Rant over.