As has been my tradition in years past, this blog is dedicated to the previous year, reflecting on what it’s meant, and celebrating the lives of those who have left. This year saw the loss of two important world political leaders. The first, in the beginning of the year was Margaret Thatcher, Britain’s first and only female Prime Minister. This is phenomenal for several reasons considering that the British monarchy has had a long line of female leadership. The second world leader to die was at the end of the year was Nelson Mandela at the age of 98. There are very few words that can be expressed that can measure the impact of his influence on the world. Imprisoned for over 27 years, the antiapartheid activist became leader of his country four years after his release. He sought justice, not revenge, and taught us all how to live free.
In 2013, few legendary actresses died: Bonnie Franklin, who played a single mother of two girls in the sitcom One Day a Time; Jeanne Stapleton, who immortalized Edith Bunker in All in the Family; Annette Funicello, the original Mouseketeer girl; Eileen Brennan, the tough captain in Private Benjamin (have you seen a female commanding officer since?); and Jeanne Cooper, who owned the role of Katherine Chancellor on CBS’ Young and the Restless for almost 40 years. Another notable death was that of Dr. Joyce Brothers, the psychologist precursor to Dr. Ruth and Dr. Phil.
2013 also saw some a tragedy of young deaths from actors. The first of the actors was Cory Montieth. The Glee star battled drug abuse and died of an overdose. Lee Thompson Young was a Disney Kid star who’d made his adult debut in a TNT series. Sadly, this young black actor took his own life at the age of 29. The third and most well-known of the actors is none other than Paul Walker, star of the Fast and Furious franchise. What made Paul’s death even more devastating to me personally is that he and I are the exact same age, born on the same day. It is upsetting at the least to be faced with your own mortality through the death of one of your contemporaries.
But all these deaths as personal as they were, paled in comparison to the tragic events that occurred in my own personal life. In February, I found myself saying a farewell to one of my uncles. Ironically, I’ve known him growing up as my uncle in close proximity, even though I never had a chance to meet his wife, who was actually the aunt related to me by blood. I spent most of my life feeling ambivalent toward my uncle; though he loved kids, and I am wonderfully fond of his offspring, he had a clear bias toward his nephews. But I loved him all the same because he truly loved my grandmother and did everything for her.
Last year, as you know, I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with the dehabilitation of my father. For a while, I was unsure of whether he would make it through the year. Even in this year, I still have my doubts. I do know that in all likelihood, the rehabilitation center may now be his permanent home. It’s caused a shift in our roles more than anything, even though there have been other small consequences, such as an increased workload as I strive to organize his personal affairs, as well as those of my own, my husband, my son, my job, and my students.
As you also know, last year, I also celebrated a milestone birthday: the big4-0.
But above and beyond all of the previously mentioned events was the death of my grandmother, Anita Ruth Laws Jones, at the age of 100. I keep promising you guys a blog that is dedicated to her and all that she meant to me, but even now, five months after her passing, I am finding it hard to do as the wound is still too fresh, gaping, and oozing with memories. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night after having dreamt about her. Facing her death on a daily basis has been especially difficult during the holiday season because this would be the time when I would be going to visit her and sit with her and just listen to her and ask questions. It’s also the time of year of year when I found myself making her recipes, especially her corn pudding and my attempt at her sweet potato pie (which turns out pretty good I must say).
There were some good points to this year. I did teach a few more classes outside the box, and felt I was pretty successful with them. I paid off some debt which feels really good. And I set my financial plan for the following year.
If I had to really label the year of 2013, I would call it the year of alteration. My perception of life has been severely altered by the loss of my grandmother and role reversal I now have with my father. My grandmother’s words continually ring in my head: “You are an adult once and a child twice,” along with, “You just keep living.” So regardless of what life throws at me in the new year (and trust me, at only three days in, I have already had two major setbacks), I just have to keep going.
