Thursday, October 9, 2014

Walmarts Are Evil

Like most people, I believe that Walmarts are inherently evil. If not evil, then an extreme exercise in self control. And honestly, most of the time, my self control is an #epicfail. Take tonight's excursion. I went in there for some Halloween candy for a promotion we're doing at work. There started the downhill slope. Train of thought: well, since I'm buying for the office, I may as well buy for the house before there is a candy frenzy. So I added another three bags to the two I'd already place in the cart. Total thus far: $40.90.

Then I went to look for the only other item on my list: alphabet-shaped chicken nuggets. Walmart has everything right? Apparently I forgot that I was not at the Super Walmart in my hometown or the one across the 301 bridge in Virginia. No alphabet nuggets, dinosaur nuggets, nuggets period. Not even any of those kid-friendly frozen meals. they barely even had any chicken left at all. So I did the next best thing and wandered the aisles, because after all I can't just come to Walmart for that small amount of time.

How about some microwave popcorn for those family movie nights? After all, nothing says cool winter nights like popcorn. Add another $5.50. Then I remembered that Ayden needed some bread for his pb&j sandwiches. And right next to that are pumpkin spice English muffins, and to keep others from eating all those, I brought the cinnamon raisin flavor. Chalk up an additional $7.50.

Now it's time to leave. But oops on the way out of the aisle the holiday bake center is already set up. Since past experience has told me that I always end up scrambling for those ingredients at the store, I picked up a couple of cans of sweetened condensed milk and pumpkin pie mix. Add another $8.

Now I can go. But I must pass the promotional aisle again. And this time, i see white cheddar Cheetos in skeleton shapes. how cute! Might as well grab two since one will inevitably be gone fast. Price: unknown, but at this point, who even cares.

Finally, I head to the cashier. Fifteen stations, two cashiers, so I head for the self-checkout section. Damn, did I have to walk right past the damn Krispy Kreme donuts? We were talking about them at work, and I was almost tempted go to the actual shop a few exits down the beltway from me. So why not? I let my son pick the flavor and finally got to checkout.

Grand total: $78 and some change.

Thank you Walmart. But I suppose I should be more thankful that I wasn't at those two super Walmarts I previously mentioned.