For anyone who’s ever read any of my blogs, it is known that at the beginning of every year I do a reflective journal on the past year and title it. Sadly, it is the beginning of the second month of the new year and I have yet to post my reflections. So before the new year gets too old, here goes.
I usually start reflecting on the world events and then concentrating on my personal sphere. This year, I’m reversing that order. To start off 2014, I had a wretched cold/flu. On top of that, I came into the new year with my menstrual cycle. The old wives’ tale is that whatever is done to ring in the new year will occur all year long. Little did I know that meant that my cycle would come along on every single holiday during the entire year.
On the second day of the new year, my DBBF and I decided to go out to celebrate the new year together. When we went out, it was raining, but by the time we returned, it was doing a heavy wintery mix.
Disaster struck: leaving from the place after a great time, I got into car accident when I lost control of my car, crashing into another vehicle, which totaled both our cars. Turns out that the tread on my tires was so worn that I shouldn’t even have been on the road in the rain. So in January, I was forced to buy my third new vehicle in five years. Though it was a pain in the butt to be without my own vehicle for three weeks, I persevered with the help of rental cars. I ended up with a new Chrysler 200 and an even lower car note.
These two events solidified the precedent for the new year. Couple them with the fact that I was still in mourning over the death of my grandmother and stressing over being caretaker for my father and keeping his affairs straight, and I thought 2014 would be the most miserable of my existence. This would prove to be correct toward the end of the year.
However, the year didn’t seem so horrendous in terms of personal achievement. I joined a gratitude group early in the year and professionally, had joined an emerging leaders cohort. As a result, I ended up being more centered and grounded, which aided me immensely for the challenges that would come ahead. In this program, I learned to better organize myself and my schedule, primarily using Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. The class helped immensely with the way I perceive the world and myself. So where in past years, I’d felt the stress of the different roles I’d been juggling I was strangely calm for the Spring semester and much of the summer. And I was looking forward to the remainder of the year progressing smoothly, and for the most part it did.
I did new travel experiences. My husband and I traveled with my bestie and her live-in lover to Virginia Beach for something called a Bayou Boogaloo, and for Labor Day weekend, I did a girlfriend trip with my cousin to New York City on Labor Day for a celebration of life party of a friend (which will be featured in my third shoutout series). This impressed upon me the need to live every moment, and a test of that need would soon come.
I celebrated the Sweet 16 of my youngest goddaughter. I also watched my oldest goddaughter complete her last high school dance recital, saw her off to her prom, and watched her walk across the stage for high school graduation. In addition, I saw one of my younger cousins (who in truth is like a niece) do the same, and my newest niece by marriage also do the same. On top of that, I was able to go to one of my cousins’ second-time-around wedding. I was elated to be part of all these celebrations. And I was happy that although I couldn’t attend the other cousin’s second-time-around wedding in September, my brother attended in my stead, which would be the last time many of my relatives would see him alive.
This of course leads to the biggest news of 2014: the death of my older brother. I suppose the reason I’ve put off this blog so long was because I knew that I would have to type those words. Even now, after three months of living without him, I had to pause before I get beyond those words. Of course, like the blog about my grandmother, he will get an entire post to himself, but right now…I just can’t.
In other news around the world for 2014, there were several notable deaths of 2014. Here is my attempt at a tribute to them. You’ll find that many of these deaths are in no particular order, but in loose categories:
The Funny
- Sid Caesar, wacky comedian with an impressive resume that spanned decades. I’m actually just realizing he played in Grease!
- Bob Hoskins, of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and who also played Smee in Hook with one of the most devastating names on this list
- Elizabeth Pena, whom I did not even know died. I first remember seeing her in a sitcom that lasted about a year. The sitcom was sort of a pre-cursor to Fran Drescher’s The Nanny. The last I’d seen her was in El Rey Network’s The Matador, but she may have already died by then. What I didn’t know was that she was the voice of the platinum-haired chick in Disney’s Incredibles.
- Harold Ramis, whose defining role was Egon Sgangler in Ghostbusters
- Mickey Rooney, whose movie career is the longest in history, with 89 years under his belt.
- Meshach Taylor, Designing Women and gets an honorable mention for his role in Mannequin
- Eli Wallach, also a star in another favorite movie The Holiday. He had over 50 years of acting experience, having starred in films with at least one other person from this list (Shirley Temple)
- Robin Williams—probably one of the most shocking deaths since Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston, Robin Williams’ apparent suicide had me (and probably the whole world) wondering, “How could someone who brought the world such laughter be in so much pain?” His list of credits and accomplishments are too many to name, but I would be remiss if I didn’t point out a few which have often become some of my favorite weekend watches:
- The top of the list belongs unquestionably to Jumanji, followed by (in no particular order) Hook, about what happens when the boy who never grew up does, Mrs. Doubtfire, the live action Popeye, The Birdcage, and who can forget his role as the Genie in Aladdin.
The Good:
- Shirley Temple—yes her name at death was Shirley Temple Black, but she will always be that little girl with the bouncy curls, baby doll dresses and tap heels.
- Legendary radio host Kasey Casem, who I grew up with as a steady presence on Saturday mornings.
- Ann B. Davis, Alice from The Brady Bunch
- Russell Johnson the professor from Gilligan’s Island, who I always thought was so hot.
- James Rebhorn, awesome character actor in countless movies and television, especially another favorite Independence Day.
- Ralph Waite, the quintessential American father from The Waltons.
The Bad:
- Joan Rivers, the comedienne whose career was bolstered by ripping up people's outfits and dignity, suffered from complications after minor surgery soon after a vitriolic speech.
- S. Truett Cathy of Chick-Fil-A. Maybe some of his homophobic, racist ideals have been buried with him.
The Ugly:
- Fred Phelps, Sr., who picketed funerals, also met his maker.
The Bold:
- Author, activist, poetess, actress, Maya Angelou.
- DC Mayor for Life Marion Barry.
- Author and activist Amiri Baraka or Leroi Jones
- Actress and activist, Ruby Dee wife of Ozzie Davis, who passed a few short years before.
- Geoffrey Holder, who played in the original film version of Annie and was Mr. Uncola for 7-Up.
- Author Gabriel Garcia Marquez of Love in the Time of Cholera
- Character actor extraordinaire Philip Seymour Hoffman
- One of my favorite poets Mark Strand.
- Wrestling legend the Ultimate Warrior, another Saturday morning favorite
- Bobby Womach, legendary crooner of “If You Think You’re Lonely Now” http://youtu.be/sbbZ_k1Z8gU
The Beautiful:
- Lauren Bacall: classic Hollywood actress who also had a half-century career and starred with at least one other actor on this list (James Garner)
- Joe Cocker—even though his voice was scratchy and scruffy, he will always be remembered for “With A Little Help from My Friends” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKer6HcI7O0 and “You Are So Beautiful to Me.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvAr9umnZ54
- James Garner, the original Maverick, the Mel Gibson movie Maverick, Rockford Files, and my favorite all-time movie The Notebook.
I close out this entry with the words of Mark Strand and the hopes of talking about my brother sometime in this blog:
In a field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.
When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body's been.
We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole.”
